Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
