And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i need some magic done to my vagina
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
