Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
