He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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