Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
