Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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