I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
