I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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