there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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