I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Buhtt sex?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
