ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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