The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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