Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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