When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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