you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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