Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
