I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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