Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
