We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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