I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
