White coat. Heels.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
