Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
