Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Im part way to drunk.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
