Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
