I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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