Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
