if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize