i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
