D3 body, D1 cock
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize