hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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