East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
