He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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