he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
