absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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