So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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