uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
