They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
