Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
