I'm gonna have a badass scar
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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