Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You may now shotgun with the bride
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
