Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I will be naked everywhere
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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