those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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