Dual....:-)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
