Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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