i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
