she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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