his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
