Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
