He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The adults are the big ones right?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
