if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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