how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
