I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
