Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
