I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Bring me that man meat
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize