i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My cat gives me a boner
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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