FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
