But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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