Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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